Value vs. Worth

Have you ever thought about the distinction between the term “Value” vs. “Worth?”

When something has value, it is worth something. Or, is it the other way around: when something is worth something, it has value? Hmmm…

As young girls and women, we often struggle with issues of self worth and our value. A couple of months ago, actress Jennifer Lawrence wrote an article voicing her concerns about current wage gaps between male and female actors in Hollywood. Her experiences are shared by many other women – celebrity or not. And, there are many other issues for which women struggle to maintain their self worth/value. At the core of Jennifer’s sentiments is the need to really know oneself – Who am I? Whose am I? Why do I exist? What assets do I possess?

Here are Google’s definitions of these terms (as nouns):

  • Value: “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”
  • Worth: “the value equivalent to that of someone or something under consideration; the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated.”

I am struck by this definition of worth “the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated.” In other words, we need to know the worth of something/one before a value can be placed on that thing/person.

This being the week of the Christmas holiday – a time when we await/remember the birth of Jesus, the Son of God – let’s reflect a little on the significance of Christ’s birth. God decided that the world needed a Savior. He thought that you and I were worth being saved from our sins and the evils of the world. Hence, he allowed Mary (a Virgin) to be conceived by the Holy Spirit and give birth to Jesus (Immanuel; God with Us). Take a moment and reflect on the fact that God thought you and I were worth it. As a result, we have value! And that value is priceless 🙂

Here’s an assignment as we usher in the New Year: watch the video below, reflect on your worth and value (we all have worth and value), and write out and say “I AM _____” statements as instructed by Iyanla everyday for at least one month or 40 days. Also, share your thoughts on why it’s so hard for girls and women to feel worthy and valuable in the comments section below. Why do we doubt (or hesitate about) our worth/value?

 

Our hope at SEGEI is that every girl and woman starts recognizing and embracing her self worth and value. As the L’Oreal commercial says, “Because You’re Worth It!”

Stay beautiful! ❤

P.S: We have moved to our website. Keep up with our posts at: http://strongenoughgirls.org/blog/

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… not on the other side

A couple of weeks ago, i met someone who recently returned to her former job after taking a job with another institution for two years. She said “I realized the grass is not always greener [on the other side] and i decided to return.” My response was, “Wow! It’s nice that [your former institution] was nice to take you back.” 🙂 Interestingly, she is back in the same position she was before she left. Well, guess it’s true that whatever is meant for you will be for you.

I thought i’d write on this subject because quite often, we as girls/women see pictures of our friends (or other women) or hear about an exciting thing someone else is doing and we begin to wonder what if? We start analyzing our situations and begin comparing our positions/places in life with others around us. Many times, this happens when we look at pictures of our friends on social media outlets or when we catch up after a long time. Ever wished you lived/worked in another City? State? Country? Another part of the world? Ever wondered how your life would be different if you were single, in a relationship, married, dating/married to someone else?!

grass greenerThere are several circumstances we face that might cause us to think that life is better on the other side. However, i want to caution you today to think carefully before you get envious and/or make a drastic decision. Below are some questions and tips to consider before your next big decision:

Regarding a career opportunity:

  • Is this my passion? (Do not pursue an opportunity for the money, glam, or because of your friends)
  • Will this make me happy? And/or will this opportunity help me grow?
  • How much more value will this opportunity add to my life/career trajectory?
  • Have I watered the grass where i am and it still isn’t getting/looking greener?
  • Have I spoken to and heard from God about this?
  • Am i ready for the implications, whatever they may be?

Regarding a romantic relationship:

  • Will this relationship make me truly happy?
  • Why do i want this relationship?
  • Am i (physically, mentally, emotionally/spiritually) ready for this relationship?
  • Have i spoken to and heard from God about this relationship?
  • Am i confident in/of who i am as a person? (It is important to know yourself well before getting involved in a romantic relationship with another person; things get very emotional)

Those are the tips that come to my mind at the moment. But, i would love to hear any tips/advice you have to share. Also, if you’d like to chat about this and other SEG posts, send me a note at nigerianstar2007@yahoo.com. And, like us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongenoughgirls?ref=hl.

Remember, you hold the key to your happiness.

learn-to-appreciate

Stay beautiful,

Mizz “O”

How Much of the Real You Do People See?

Hello Strong Enough Girls,

Here at SEG, we’re fans of authentic living, so, we want to share a fun quiz we found on Oprah.com to help you reflect on how authentically you are living life. What does it mean to live an authentic life? Merriam Webster defines authentic as “not false or imitation: real, actual; true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” Are you ready for the quiz?

authentic-self-soul-made-visible2

Go here: http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/Genuine-Life-Quiz (and come back; see below)

How did taking the quiz make you feel? What did it reveal? Do you feel it is accurate? Share with us! We’re a community. We want to support and empower girls and women to be their best selves, always. Together, we can help each other live beautifully, strongly, and authentically.

Lady O, a woman of authenticity

Lady O, a woman of authenticity

The fullness of our humanity can be expressed only when we are true to ourselves. Your real job on earth is to become more of who you really are. To live to the highest degree what is pure, what is honest, what is natural, what feels like the real you.
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/What-Oprah-Knows-For-Sure-About-Authenticity#ixzz3pp2BJ352

Till next time, remember to:

Pinterest.com

Pinterest.com

SEG of the Week: Jennifer Lawrence

Check out what American Actress and Hollywood Star, Jennifer Lawrence had to say about wage gaps between men and women in a recent write-up (copied below). Her honest and feisty reflection makes her our Strong Enough Girl (SEG) of the week. Your comments/thoughts are welcome.

Why Do I Make Less Than My

Male Co‑Stars?

By Jennifer Lawrence

J Law

(Illustration Credit: Jennifer Williams)

When Lena first brought up the idea of Lenny to me, I was excited. Excited to speak to Lena, who I think is a genius, and excited to start thinking about what to complain about (that’s not what she pitched me, it’s just what I’m gonna do). When it comes to the subject of feminism, I’ve remained ever-so-slightly quiet. I don’t like joining conversations that feel like they’re “trending.” I’m even the asshole who didn’t do anything about the ice-bucket challenge — which was saving lives — because it started to feel more like a “trend” than a cause. I should have written a check, but I fucking forgot, okay? I’m not perfect. But with a lot of talk comes change, so I want to be honest and open and, fingers crossed, not piss anyone off.

It’s hard for me to speak about my experience as a working woman because I can safely say my problems aren’t exactly relatable. When the Sony hack happened and I found out how much less I was being paid than the lucky people with dicks, I didn’t get mad at Sony. I got mad at myself. I failed as a negotiator because I gave up early. I didn’t want to keep fighting over millions of dollars that, frankly, due to two franchises, I don’t need. (I told you it wasn’t relatable, don’t hate me).

But if I’m honest with myself, I would be lying if I didn’t say there was an element of wanting to be liked that influenced my decision to close the deal without a real fight. I didn’t want to seem “difficult” or “spoiled.” At the time, that seemed like a fine idea, until I saw the payroll on the Internet and realized every man I was working with definitely didn’t worry about being “difficult” or “spoiled.” This could be a young-person thing. It could be a personality thing. I’m sure it’s both. But this is an element of my personality that I’ve been working against for years, and based on the statistics, I don’t think I’m the only woman with this issue. Are we socially conditioned to behave this way? We’ve only been able to vote for what, 90 years? I’m seriously asking — my phone is on the counter and I’m on the couch, so a calculator is obviously out of the question. Could there still be a lingering habit of trying to express our opinions in a certain way that doesn’t “offend” or “scare” men?

A few weeks ago at work, I spoke my mind and gave my opinion in a clear and no-bullshit way; no aggression, just blunt. The man I was working with (actually, he was working for me) said, “Whoa! We’re all on the same team here!” As if I was yelling at him. I was so shocked because nothing that I said was personal, offensive, or, to be honest, wrong. All I hear and see all day are men speaking their opinions, and I give mine in the same exact manner, and you would have thought I had said something offensive.

I’m over trying to find the “adorable” way to state my opinion and still be likable! Fuck that. I don’t think I’ve ever worked for a man in charge who spent time contemplating what angle he should use to have his voice heard. It’s just heard. Jeremy Renner, Christian Bale, and Bradley Cooper all fought and succeeded in negotiating powerful deals for themselves. If anything, I’m sure they were commended for being fierce and tactical, while I was busy worrying about coming across as a brat and not getting my fair share. Again, this might have NOTHING to do with my vagina, but I wasn’t completely wrong when another leaked Sony email revealed a producer referring to a fellow lead actress in a negotiation as a “spoiled brat.” For some reason, I just can’t picture someone saying that about a man.

Are you HOT, BEAUTIFUL, or BOTH?

BeyonceObama

Happy Friday Strong Girls (and to any Strong Men who might come across this post)!

Here’s some inspiration i came across today. (Excerpt copied below, but read more here). I added the images for some good visual representation 🙂

Hot is admired from afar; beauty is to be held.

SCANDAL - ABC's

SCANDAL – ABC’s “Scandal” stars Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope. (ABC/CRAIG SJODIN)

Hot is perception; beauty is appreciation.

Hot is smokey-eyed; beautiful is bare-faced.

Hot is an appearance; beautiful is more than skin deep.

Hot is the way she moans; beautiful is the way she speaks.

Hot is a strong appeal; beautiful is strong mind.

Hot is youthful; beautiful is ageless.

Hot is conventional; beauty is unique.

Hot is a one-night stand; beautiful is sleepless nights.

Hot is a state of beKeriing; beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Hot is devious; beautiful is innocent.

Hot is bending her over; beautiful is baking her blueberry pancakes.

Hot is sultry; beautiful is wholesome.

Hot is her curves; beauty is her nerves.

Hot is a text message; beautiful is a love letter.

Hot is a facade; beautiful is a woman.

Be a BEAUTIFUL woman!

With love,

Onyinye

When you look in the mirror, do you like you?

I saw this video earlier today… #Loveit

My dear sisters, you don’t have to try so hard. You shouldn’t have to try so hard.

Be yourself. Love yourself. Accept who you are. It might sound easier said than done, but it can be done. Practice letting your hair down, putting down the make-up, shaving your hair off if you’re tired of dealing with it. #PracticeMakesPerfect #SelfLoveMatters

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

xxxx

-Mizz “O”

The Luckiest Girl in the World

How do you define the term lucky?
Who gets to be lucky?

Today’s inspirational feature is about Turia Pitt, an Australian ultramarathon runner and “model-turned-engineer” who is a survivor of a terrible bush fire incident. As i read about Turia being featured on the cover of The Australian Women’s Weekly magazine, i was inspired and uplifted by Turia’s confidence and courage. I was also reminded of the fact that, all over the world, there are many people who have suffered unfortunate events that have left them with physical scars that often contribute to feelings of insecurity and decreased self-esteem. Turia is a beautiful example of what it means to be a Strong Enough woman. In acknowledging her feature in the magazine, Turia says “For me, it sends the message that confidence equals beauty… There are a lot of women out there who are so beautiful but don’t have the confidence, and that’s what gets you over the line.”

Turia’s strength is truly remarkable, and she is a role model for all of us. When life gives you a fighting chance, take it. You have more to live for.

Strong Enough Girls aims to inspire courage and confidence in young girls and women all over the world. I hope that Turia’s story inspires you to embrace the fact that you very well might be “the luckiest girl in the world” – scars, imperfections, and all. Everyday is an opportunity to be a better you; don’t let your circumstances deter you from being BEAUTIFUL.

Confidence is beauty

            Confidence is beauty

Turia Pitt before her accident

            Turia Pitt before her accident

With a virtual hug,

Mizz “O”

Not Perfect, but Good Enough.

Tonight, as i caught up on “Girls: A No Ceilings Conversation” between former U.S. Secretary of state Hillary Clinton and her daughter Chelsea Clinton along with young girls from communities and 4 Middle and High schools around the US, i was reminded of why my “Strong Enough Girls” initiative is important. Secretary Clinton made a comment to the effect of “Girls stop themselves from progressing because they feel that they’re not perfect. Men/boys do not view themselves in this way [and this is why men tend to dominate many areas in society].”

We have to overcome this mentality.

Strong Enough Girls calls girls and women to believe in their strengths and abilities. We don’t have to be perfect; we can simply be “strong/good enough.” Why should we limit ourselves trying to achieve perfection? Men do not let their imperfections stop them from believing in what they can offer, even to the extent of being cocky. My dear girls, let’s stop holding ourselves back, and keep pressing ahead, imperfections and all. We are as good as any boy or man. We are strong enough!  #Believeit

What do you think? Why do women feel the need to be perfect in an imperfect world? Why do we stop moving forward with our goals and dreams when we hit a roadblock? Why do we allow men to be good enough, but not ourselves?