… not on the other side

A couple of weeks ago, i met someone who recently returned to her former job after taking a job with another institution for two years. She said “I realized the grass is not always greener [on the other side] and i decided to return.” My response was, “Wow! It’s nice that [your former institution] was nice to take you back.” 🙂 Interestingly, she is back in the same position she was before she left. Well, guess it’s true that whatever is meant for you will be for you.

I thought i’d write on this subject because quite often, we as girls/women see pictures of our friends (or other women) or hear about an exciting thing someone else is doing and we begin to wonder what if? We start analyzing our situations and begin comparing our positions/places in life with others around us. Many times, this happens when we look at pictures of our friends on social media outlets or when we catch up after a long time. Ever wished you lived/worked in another City? State? Country? Another part of the world? Ever wondered how your life would be different if you were single, in a relationship, married, dating/married to someone else?!

grass greenerThere are several circumstances we face that might cause us to think that life is better on the other side. However, i want to caution you today to think carefully before you get envious and/or make a drastic decision. Below are some questions and tips to consider before your next big decision:

Regarding a career opportunity:

  • Is this my passion? (Do not pursue an opportunity for the money, glam, or because of your friends)
  • Will this make me happy? And/or will this opportunity help me grow?
  • How much more value will this opportunity add to my life/career trajectory?
  • Have I watered the grass where i am and it still isn’t getting/looking greener?
  • Have I spoken to and heard from God about this?
  • Am i ready for the implications, whatever they may be?

Regarding a romantic relationship:

  • Will this relationship make me truly happy?
  • Why do i want this relationship?
  • Am i (physically, mentally, emotionally/spiritually) ready for this relationship?
  • Have i spoken to and heard from God about this relationship?
  • Am i confident in/of who i am as a person? (It is important to know yourself well before getting involved in a romantic relationship with another person; things get very emotional)

Those are the tips that come to my mind at the moment. But, i would love to hear any tips/advice you have to share. Also, if you’d like to chat about this and other SEG posts, send me a note at nigerianstar2007@yahoo.com. And, like us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongenoughgirls?ref=hl.

Remember, you hold the key to your happiness.

learn-to-appreciate

Stay beautiful,

Mizz “O”

Bodily Integrity

Hello ladies!

Something much like this outfit

Something much like this outfit

I watched the Steve Harvey show the other day, and on the show was a 21 year old female college student whose mom brought her on the show because of the way she dresses; the young lady’s sense of fashion always leaves nothing [of her body] to be imagined (aka she enjoys wearing revealing clothes). In fact, a picture of the young lady was shown in which she had on a dress with cut-out slits down the sides (see sample image on the right). She confessed that she wore this outfit to church! In defense of her decision, she told Mr. Harvey  “God sees everything; He sees how i dress when i’m not in church, so, i like to be myself at church.” (paraphrased) Wow! #Bold

Mr. Harvey responded by saying “Yes, God sees everything. But man does not need to.” Excellent response! (*applause for Mr. Harvey*) He added that a man who looks at the lady in that dress, “sees what he can get.” He advised her to dress in an appropriate manner that doesn’t show a man what he can get, but makes him “imagine what he can have.” (*snapping fingers*) I think i know what he means, and i’d have to agree. Well, well, leave it up to Mr. Steve Harvey to be the women’s coach!

I write this post to say dear girl, please protect your bodily integrity. I don’t mean to deny you of your right to dress how you choose, but please, for decency’s sake and for the love of the temple [your beautiful body] that God has so graciously blessed you with, dress modestly. And, please, never wear an outfit like the one in the sample image to church (or any religious institution). Church is a sacred place; honor God, at least! I almost reached into my TV screen to give the young lady a slap when i heard her remarks to Steve Harvey. But, i didn’t 🙂 I chose to forgive her… just this once though. #Fatherhelpyourchildren

Feel free to share your thoughts in the “Leave a Reply” box below.

With concern (and love),

Mizz “O”

Dear Girl

12144663_10153335834906185_307051250012350915_nDear girl (adolescent, youth, or adult),

When you meet a guy you really like, be sure to ask for an open line of communication. Just say, “Hey! I value honesty in my relationships so, can we be straight forward with each other about our intentions and expectations?” This is one lesson i have taken away from my encounters with guys and many conversations with my girlfriends. You know those girlfriend conversations when you’re like “I’m not sure if he likes me…,” or “He said ____, but i don’t know what that means?” Yeah, those ones! They’re not very fun, and they signal miscommunication. Blurred lines create disappointments and mishaps. One of the ills in society is that there are too many blurred lines between people of the opposite sex. And for this reason, some people have said that it is not possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends. While i can say that i have guy friends who are indeed just friends, i also realize that when/if care is not taken with each other (and we get too close), human nature (aka our hormones) goes to work. And, this often creates a complicated relationship and most times ends the friendship. So, when you meet that guy who makes your stomach feel like you have butterflies or who piques your romantic interest, be straight forward. I bet you, he’ll respect you a lot more and you’ll feel like a Champ! Besides, being straight forward makes whatever happens next (good or bad) less blurry… and i think less blur is a good thing 🙂

So, dear girl, I hope you always remember that you are brilliant, beautiful, and brave. You never know until you ask; and asking, my friend, makes things less complicated.

Stay strong,

Mizz “O”